It seems that when it rains it pours. My spirits are still high, but I am now accustomed to things just not working out. I am looking forward to the time when all of this is over, but I am also trying to learn any new things I can get away with from this situation. Here is a summary of some of the things I learned, in brain dump fashion. Ready, GO!
I am in a bad place and I need your help. Please read this entire (rather lengthy) blog. I cannot give complete details at this time, but I can tell you this: I am currently in the middle of a trial related to the car accident that I had in January. I am suspended from work and I have no income for the foreseeable future, at least until the case is settled. I am thinning down to a Spartan (Awooo!) lifestyle and I have a little bit of savings after the initial lawyer fees, but that won't last me past a month or two. I will likely be selling things that I can part with, so please be prepared to help me to find buyers if you cannot donate. This will very likely include my home, if it goes too long. If you can spare anything so that I do not have to liquidate my life, I would appreciate it. If you owe me anything, I am calling in those markers. Since I tend to loan money and then forget about it, I don't remember all of the loans I may have given out. If I remembered, I have already sent out separate communication. If not, well this is your chance.
We are largely a product of the choices we make. Things that we did when we were young have made other choices before us irrelevant or unavailable. Also, certain other choices are only available to us because of those same choices.
2011 is done and we are on our way into the beginning of 20112. I am amazed how many things can happen in a year and still make me feel unfulfilled and rather unaccomplished. I know I have made strides this year in my life, but without this yearly writing, it is hard to quantify and therefore to accept. And, as we all know acceptance is necessary for growth. I went through some tough things that made me reevaluate my life. Here is the short list, not in any particular order. They were all pretty significant to me, and all of them affected me, each in their own way. I shall catalog them for you now.
Just like the song says, I just couldn't wait to get on the road again. Until I am on the road, it seems, and then I realize the cost of the trip. Not in dollars, but in lost time.
Recently, I have been made aware, in nearly every facet of my life, that this is true. Everyone seems to put more stock in what appears to be true instead of what is true. What's worse, is they actually know it most of the time, but it is to their advantage to act as if it is not. It is really about one simple thing: Power.
Someone once asked me to answer these 5 questions. I could not find where I had posted these before, so I wanted to post them now as a way to get to know me a little, for those that do not know me now.
Like the ancient Samurai, I look for death everyday in every moment, as though looking for an old friend that I long to see again, a lover from lost years, but that is hiding from me. She is playing a game that I know she will win, and I play along as though I don't.