Who knows where the cold wind blows? I asked my friends but nobody knows. Who am I to believe in love? Love ain't no stranger. I am not going to lie to you: this year, as a whole, sucked. It was a colossal waste of my life. I spent it in fear and pain, in loss and grieving for someone I never met, and have been left at the end with a fairly bleak financial future and more weight than I would like. If I ever could have a year to live over, this would be the one, as long I had the knowledge of how one moment would go. But, would something else have happened to make it happen this way regardless? It is likely many of you would say yes and others no, but not of you would have any fact to back it up. I will remain firmly entrenched in I don't care, since I can't know. That is my faith, and as nihlistic as it may sound, it serves me. Just as your faith serves you. I certainly hope I am understood. As I ponder the end of this largely pathetic year, I once again must take stock in what I am leaving behind. I will lay it out, as best I can, and I will try not to make you cry. Too much.